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All of You

by Hannah Jay

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1.
Mirror 03:55
I'm finding my way back to myself, to the one who marveled at the sight of her own hands. I sat so long on the highest shelf, tending to invented futures' invented demands. I got nothin left to sell, my feet have made it back to the land. I didn't know that I was hiding, arbitrary rule abiding. Using some burnt out bulb for lighting, digging in my heels, busy with misled misguiding. I thought the answers were in a book, I thought my eyes knew where to look. I thought and thought, but now I'm shook, I'm feelin something, maybe that's all it took. Now all of the notes in my head are making it past the length of my own bed. Along with the dreams that I haven't fed and all the words that I'd forgotten that I'd never said. I'm finding my way back to myself, to the one who marveled at the sight of her own hands. I sat so long on the highest shelf, tending to invented futures' invented demands. I got nothin left to sell, my feet have made it back to the land.
2.
Lisa 04:45
Lisa can explain all his tattoos Lisa knows his family's rich history of issues Lisa sends him birthday gifts hoping that the air will shift Lisa wears a smile for him even when he doesn't look at her Lisa's beautiful and well he, well, he's all right. But Lisa thinks he's beautiful even though we can't really see why. To her he's beautiful even when he's feeding her his sweet little white lies. She finds him beautiful, he's such a dumb luck sort of fuckin guy. 'Cuz she waits by his door doesn't knock doesn't ring the bell just waits by his door, ignoring all his hell. She waits by his door, part of her knowing full well that he was never gonna give her a key, but still she couldn't leave. Lisa cooks like people who win Chopped sizzling the onions while she glazes up the pork chops Lisa sets the table for two then she winds up wrapping up the second serving of food Lisa sets aside all her own wishes while she pours some dish soap over all her dirty dishes Lisa goes and gases up her car drives for half an hour just to see him at his bar hoping that when he sees her, he'll smile from afar but he's busy picking maraschino cherries from the jar Lisa's the funniest one in the whole place but her sense of humor doesn't match up with his shitty taste Lisa listens as he vents about his tragic perfect ex Lisa doesn't even mind having to wait a month for sex Lisa wakes in her bed alone sees zero new messages on her phone Lisa looks in the mirror to everyone but her, it couldn't be clearer that Lisa's beautiful and well he, well, he's all right. But Lisa thinks he's beautiful even though we can't really see why. To her he's beautiful even when he's feeding her his sweet little white lies. She finds him beautiful, he's such a dumb luck sort of fuckin guy. 'Cuz she waits by his door doesn't knock doesn't ring the bell just waits by his door, ignoring all his hell. She waits by his door, part of her knowing full well that he was never gonna give her a key, but still she couldn't leave. Lisa's beautiful yeah she's beautiful Lisa's beautiful even when she doesn't know when to walk away.
3.
You can’t lay claim to me but you can lay your head down next to me and you can’t have me but you can have breakfast at the table with me and you can’t complete me but you can surely meet me at the door and you can’t own me cuz you still owe me ten bucks from last week, you thought Id forget it, well isn’t that sweet I thought I wanted to let go I thought I needed to be known I thought I was ready to be someone else’s someone else’s I thought I wanted to let go I thought I needed to be known I thought I was ready to be someone else’s someone else’s You can’t plan a life around me but you can stick around for a bit with me You can’t be the other half of me but we can go halfsies on the pizza pie, I won’t touch the pepperoni and you can’t know me, really know me but you can ask some questions, get to know some things about me and you can’t free me but if you wanna be free for a while, just keep on walking next to me I thought I wanted to let go I thought I needed to be known I thought I was ready to be someone else’s someone else’s I thought I wanted to let go I thought I needed to be known I thought I was ready to be someone else’s someone else’s You can’t lay claim to me but you can lay your head down next to me
4.
Jesse 02:25
You made me laugh. When I was with you, I never felt out of place. I never felt like I had to put on a face. You didn't want a ride home that night, you wanted to walk the whole way yourself. And you were so goddamn self deprecating. You wouldn't take a compliment from fuckin anyone. I don't think you saw the beauty that was you. I don't think you saw the way we all saw you. I don't know if there was anything that anyone could do. But if there was, I'm sorry for not doing it.
5.
Sometimes 07:16
Sometimes I’m not here Sometimes I find it hard to hear Sometimes I can’t figure out the day Sometimes I don’t have anything to say Sometimes my body doesn’t feel Sometimes my mind doesn’t know whats real Sometimes my past gets twisted up Sometimes the future isn’t enough Sometimes my feet forget to move Sometimes I got nothin I wanna prove Sometimes my head can only ache Sometimes I give and forget to take Sometimes I play the part of the muse Sometimes it just leaves me feelin used Sometimes I’m not sure where to lay the blame Sometimes I forget the sound of my own name Sometimes my room becomes too small Sometimes I can’t get out at all Sometimes when I’m sleeping I can’t dream Sometimes when I’m angry I can’t scream Sometimes when you call I can’t pick up the phone Sometimes when I wanna call you back I can’t get past the dial tone Sometimes my memories lie Sometimes I start wishing we didn’t say goodbye Sometimes my voice doesn’t wanna sing Sometimes my fingers won’t play a goddamn thing Sometimes my eyes can’t see Sometimes I forget how to be Sometimes But not all of the time.
6.
Abbey 04:11
Remember all the birthday cards that we hand wrote? So long ago, so long ago Stayin up late just to watch mediocre TV shows So long ago, so long ago When we beat mom and dad in board games, oh how we’d gloat So long ago, so long ago Sometimes you were the only one who’d laugh when I’d make a joke So long ago, so long ago 
I used to hear you getting ready when I woke So long ago Why’d we have to fight before we could get close? Well I don’t know, well I don’t know. Why’d we have to steal instead of asking to borrow? Well I don’t know, well I don’t know. All the years we spent adrift, alone Well I don’t know, well I don’t know. We got so lost just trying to get where we needed to go Well I don’t know Why don’t you know that your beauty glows? I do not know how you could not know. And all the talks we had sittin beneath the willow They helped us grow, they helped us grow Some made us sad but even so They helped us grow, they helped us grow The way you listened when I spoke You help me grow, you help me grow How just the sight of your eyes lightened my load You help me grow, you help me grow Some things only the two of us can know They help us grow, they help us grow Some things only the two of us can know They help us grow, they help us grow They help us grow.
7.
No Rush 04:37
There’s no rush, child The words I needed to hear This is when it all happens Let go of the fear But I got some skin in the race, I gotta keep up the pace, No lookin back at the past I could never get my eyes to face. My chest is a sinking weight, my head is a dirtied slate, I never learned what it means to wait. I’m getting nowhere fast at a steady rate. There’s no rush, child The words I needed to hear This is when it all happens Let go of the fear The glances I wanted to steal, I wanted to speak, my lips were sealed, I wanted to fly but struck a deal that left me spinnin the same old wheels. The same old lines weighing on my shoulder keep playing over and over and then they wind up takin over all of the moments my feet pass over. There’s no rush child, there’s no rush. There’s no rush child, there’s no rush. I’m staring at the clock, I’m afloat looking for the dock, At the door, afraid to knock, Tick tock tick tock. I’m hoping for an answer, I’m looking for an anchor, My mind is only getting blanker. There’s no rush child There’s no rush Just, listen. Just, hush. There’s no rush There’s no rush There’s no rush There’s no rush, child.

about

Debut EP
October 2018

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released October 8, 2018

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Hannah Jay Massachusetts

Hannah Jay is a singer-songwriter based in Jamaica Plain, MA. She tries to keep it honest and relatable, hopefully you'll find something in her music that speaks to you.

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